Cigarette Smoking

First topic of the blog: Smoking. Yes, cigarette smoking, its great. Wait, some of those who know me, a very extremist anti-smoking advocate is saying that "smoking is great". Well, lets hear my point before you decide. (Note: I hate smoking more than anything else and all references to support for smoking are purely sarcasm)

Smoking is said to contain thousands of chemicals that dramatically increases the chances of getting diseases. cancer and low-fertility rates. Smoking related-deaths claims the lives of millions of people around the world every year. Its not just the smokers themselves who suffer but those around them through what is known as "second-hand" smoke. It is generally accepted that smoking is very harmful to our healths and those around us. Though most would argue that smoking does not cause instantaneous death, well it has many other effects as well. Smoking causes teeth and nails to yellow, its disgusting and I am sure no one would want to be friends with disgusting people. I am sure the result would be depression from the lack of friends and suicide as a result. Unfortunately, "smoking is considered to be cool" and usually in the cool places like pubs and night clubs, it is difficult to see the colour of teeth and nails in the flashy lighting.

Besides smoking as a social phenomenon, smoking has its practical uses. Cigarette smoke is a very good pesticide and very few insects survive long in the smoke. Well, it can be considered to be "collateral damage" since all pesticides have harmful effects on human beings. It is indeed naive to think that pesticides only harm insects and not us, then how the hell do you think pesticides kill the insects. Anyway, cigarette smoke fills the whole room in a short time span, that makes it more effective than pesticide and there is no aiming to do. Not only does smoking kill pests, you can also induce cancer and other illnesses on people you hate through second-hand smoke at the expense of your own life, its legal murder! Plus, if jumping off the building is too painful, you can die a slow and relaxing death by smoking in front of the TV. Smoking can be seen as ritual suicide that is less painful then Seppuku.

However, I am an Evolutionist, who laughs in the face of the creationists, but that will be another day. If you can see a trend, it is the lower class or the peasants who usually smoke, as well as the drop-outs. Smoking is answer to human rights laws in the light that tigers and other carnivores no longer posing a threat to us. Without our natural predators, governments are left to introduce a form of population control that will prevent overpopulation. That population control or what some would call "the Natural Selection process" would be: Cigarette smoking. Since Cigarette smoking results in deaths and those who are lowly educated smoke, those who are left are the smart elites, like those from Raffles Institution. But one would be wondering, why would the governments of the world want to kill their own people who pay taxes. Well, the answer is easy, the poorer the person, the less income tax is paid, but Cigarette tax will milk what is left of the poor man's savings. Since Cigarette Smoking does not kills instantly, the poor person will have to pay for both taxes and cigarettes until he dies of illnesses, in which he no longer has any to pay and has no more value. So Cigarette Smoking, effectively cleans up our population and ensures a brighter future for our motherland.

From an economic standpoint, smoking contributes greatly to the society. Especially in Singapore, a significant portion of taxes, in which we pay our ministers with, come from cigarette tax. To hell with those tax evading cigarette smugglers, cigarette tax is how we make the lowly educated pay for our first-class ministers. Cigarettes are also addictive, providing a steady stream of income for our government and the rich owners of the cigarette companies. Cigarettes also create jobs for the factory workers and the university graduate filled management. Smoking is a necessity for our robust economy and any country's economy. Yes, smoking has harmful effects but didn't I said it was ritual suicide?

So the next time you see a smoker, say "Thanks" for they are supporting the economy, removing pests and regulating the population through the glorious sacrifice of their lives. Smokers sacrifice their lives for the good of our nation, such patriotism is to be admired!! We truly need smokers in our countries for our great nations to run smoothly! The reason why we have our civilised lives, education and internet connection is because of their sacrifice.

But still, to all the smokers: "It sucks to be you".